A very deep conversation

The waves were relentless today. Antony hung back I looked over and knew that he was there because of me and I was glad. In technical terms there is a very quick window after the wave has crested for you to dive down to escape from being hit by the energy of the fast and furious coming froths after which you should then do sprint freestyle swimming like crazy before the next one starts again. Last Sunday probably because I didn't know any better, I was able to do it but today it was one after another and they eventually took all my energy away. Before the start of swim a few minutes before, Bryan and Antony had watched the line of each approaching wave intently from the shore like 2 French generals in the upcoming Napolean movie surveying the developing battlefield below to form the next Calvery charge. They spotted a short break emerging from one of the wave lines and directed all the swimmers toward it. Being FOB I was hearing all of this for the first time ie. wave volume, energy, frequency and so on. and tried to follow the direction best I could. Maybe I was a bit too hesitant or a bit too overwhelmed and at some point all the energy was gone and then it was time to head back to wait for another day to take the hill. I stumbled out of the water and was so happy to find firmer footing on the shore. Tim, another swimmer, whose 8 yrs old daughter had made thru the same waves effortlessly (what an OW swimmer she already is and will become) and we commiserated about SD winter wave condition. I enjoy so much of all the support and camaraderie of OWO group.

I was thinking while driving earlier that I should get credit for just showing up but actually I should really be focusing on just enjoying the conversation of each pulse, each breath and joy as Carol had once taught me. For a moment I should just let go of this dread of having to break thru the line to reach the calming sea to start swimming but instead to just be in conversation i.e. a very deep one w a lot at stake. There was a moment while swimming back that I did panic and felt fear for the first time in my brief OW career very similar to earlier time when I also was overwhelmed by the possibility of losing the form on the blank page /canvas. Next time instead of trying to make marks for a purpose or not I should only be thinking about having similar deep conversation about colors and forms on a flat surface.