Finding Balance

Ba ơi

Con xin lỗi Ba và con thương Ba lắm

Nếu con biết con sẽ trở thành người hôm nay thì con đã không phải cẩn chạy xa Bà khi mình còn ở trại. Hôm nay con đã hiểu Ba hơn vì con ďá tiến hóa và không còn sợ nữa. Con đã trở thành một người con muốn và con sẽ theo những giấc mơ của Ba

Con trai út của Bà

My Son (and Daughter) will not suffer the same fate as me as the cycle of pain and suffering will now be broken.

Thầy is right that through sharing both the sharer and the listener will be saved from suffering . But did he learn about that when he was in the US? W all my years of psychotherapy living in New York I didn’t get it until I came to DeerPark when my children returned home crying from what they had heard in their teen camp sharing circles. Did Thầy evolve that from Buddhism or from his experience living in New York’s America. I do remember that Xéna did mention the sharing circle of the Quaker but I thought it was for silence only. He must have evolved it as part of the engagement Buddhism path because it definitely was not available in mainstream devotional path that I grew up with.

When I got to Indiantown Gap refugee camp in Pennsylvania, it was the next chapter of the adventure that I so longed for, looking out of the second floor of my home onto Gia Long Street of Saigon during one of those long night curfews. But the restlessness from a refugee kid was gone, and I was ready to do the next thing. My father felt differently, and he was busy trying to figure out how to bring my mother over from Japan, having arrived there a few weeks before Saigon collapsed to be there w my brother and sister. It was an anxious time for all the adults trying to figure out what’s next with life ahead in America. I had all the freedom to explore the camp with the other camp kids while trying out new English words with the American GI working and guarding the camp. I got a job delivering mail, but the catch was that I had to ride the bicycle. My father had forbidden my brother and me from learning to ride the most popular mode of transportation in Saigon because, as head of oral surgery at the Central Hospital, he had seen enough of busted heads and faces. So here I was, trying to deliver mail by walking from one end of the refugee camp to the next, which would take 2 hours and under the hot sun was definitely not sustainable. I had to figure out another option because there was no one around who was willing to teach me. Frustrated, I walked by this old bike parked next to my building and thought to myself, if only I could figure out how to feel being balanced on top of the bike, then I would know how to ride it. The problem was how to do it without having another person holding onto the bike while trying to pedal forward. The solution was using gravity to help from the top of the hill, and in an instant, I experienced what I was seeking for. And that was all it took to be riding with the camp kids the next day while feeling the most joyful freedom and happiness. My movement teacher Rob had taught me that balancing (on a single leg) was never static and rigid but always dynamic, constantly needing left right adjustments to arrive at a still center. This lesson I carry with me whether I am on busy global teamwork calls trying to stick to an agenda, or painting and juggling with many messy colors at once, searching for the necessary light to reveal itself, or keeping calm while swimming through rough ocean water or sprinting in a fast pool or just being super busy w family life and being Dad to 2 active teen agers. Finding Balance is all about understanding that it is never still never held and never perfect but always about a series of small, tiny active adjustments until a sustainable center is revealed to help move forward and beyond.